24 October 2014
Dear Autumn,
You're back and that makes me happy.
Every time I see the first leaves drop and the sky turn grey and I find myself seeking out new candles, I know you've arrived and that makes me smile.
But autumn as much as I love you, I think it might be odd for me to have such positive feelings for this season.
Not because something is wrong with you, its me. Really. It's actually because every time this season rolls around things are sad. Life turns unhappy. This season always brings with it the most unhappy of times. Unfortunately, its come around again as well.
But I've began to think that maybe, just maybe, I welcome that feeling. I don't like being sad, but I'm used to this feeling so I am comfortable this way. Maybe I'm the one who messed things up this time. Was it possibly my fault? Was it me who made things worse than they are? Was I overreacting? Because as real as the hurt was from it, and as real as my feelings were, I don't know if I escalated things myself.
Autumn, you've been around for a long time. I'm certain you've seen a lot in your time. Relationships of all sorts fall apart. Friends parting ways. Children being born and people dying. You must understand these things well, so if I ask for your help, would you lend me your hand? Offer me advice about making it through the cold months to find my way into your excited young sister, spring. Into renewed hope and an abundance of happiness. If you find yourself thinking of anyways to help, please allow your brisk winds to whisper your long kept secrets in my ear. I would love if you brought a rainstorm to wash away the troubles. Or allowed the smell of freshly fallen leaves and pumpkin everything wipe away the scent of distress.
Thank you for listening my old friend.
Lots of love and best wishes,
Emily.
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